Sexuality is not necessarily something that is set in stone. In fact, for many people, it’s fluid and their sexuality changes and shifts throughout their lifetime. One of the healthiest things you can do when it comes to your sex life and the pleasure you experience is to allow yourself room to grow and change. If you want to explore your sexuality but aren’t sure where to start, you’re in the right place!

Do Your Research

Our first piece of advice when you want to start exploring, is to research. Lucky for you, you’re already well on your way with this step since you’re reading this blog post now! Since the world of sexuality is so vast it can be confusing and even a bit intimidating if you’re just starting out. Here are a few terms to know that will help you in your journey:

SGA = Same Gender Attraction

Same Gender Attraction, often shortened to SGA, is pretty much what it sounds like! It’s when you are attracted to people who are the same gender as you. This could fall under any label from gay to lesbian to bisexual to pansexual and so much more.

Queer = An Umbrella Term for “Not Straight”

While the term queer does still have negative connotations attached to many, it has been reclaimed by the LGBTQ community by and large. For most, it now serves as an umbrella term for the community as a whole and any identity that falls outside of the “straight cisgender” scope. Some people also identify as queer rather than any more specific label. This is a term you’ll see very often in LGBTQ spaces!

Sapphic = Women (or feminine-identifying people) who are attracted to women (or feminine-identifying people)

Sapphic is a catch-all term that can be used to describe all feminine-identifying people who love other feminine people. This can include lesbians, bisexual women, pansexual women, and anyone else who feels like this term fits their experience with attraction and relationships.

Achillean = Men (or masculine-identifying people) who are attracted to men (or masculine-identifying people)

Achillean is essentially the masculine version of sapphic. It can be used for all masculine-identifying people who love other masculine people. This can include gay men, bisexual men, pansexual men, and anyone else who feels like this term fits their own personal story.

These terms are really just a drop in the ocean when it comes to knowing all there is to know about the LGBTQ community, but they should at least be a starting place for you to take off from.

Experiment on Your Own

If you’re ready to start doing a little physical experimentation but aren’t quite sure if you want to do it with another person yet, we have exactly what you need: sex toys! There are so many toys these days that look and feel like real human anatomy.

If you want to experiment with people who have penises, try a realistic dildo. These toys look and feel like the real deal, especially the ones that come in skin tone variations. They have veins, many of them are firm but flexible, some are circumcised, and some aren’t. You can also get whatever size you’re comfortable with. When you’ve got your dildo, the fun really begins. Try licking it, kissing it, touching it. Just get familiar with the way it looks and feels. You can give it a hand job or a blow job or use it for penetrative sex. Anything you think you might like to do with a real-life penis, give it a go with your trusty dildo!

If you think you’re into people with vulvas, you’re in luck as well! You can get a toy that’s typically meant for penis owners and use it for your purposes. There are tons of different kinds of realistic masturbators. Some look like real vulvas, some even have breasts you can experiment with as well. You can practice touching the vulva, caressing it, and even giving it some oral pleasure. 

And if you want an extra-amazing pro-tip, try using some warming lube when you play with your toy of choice to make it feel even more like the real thing!

Try Dating Apps

If you’re finally ready to dip your toes into experimenting with other people but don’t know where to meet someone, try dating apps! On pretty much every dating app there is, you can change your preferences at any time. You can swipe through men and women and nonbinary people to your heart’s content. You can chat with them, get to know them a bit, and when you find someone you like and feel comfortable with, take the plunge! Meet up with them and see where the universe takes you. As long as you’re upfront about where you are on your sexuality journey and let them know exactly what you’re looking for, whether that be a long-term relationship or a casual hookup, or a coffee date, or just someone to make out and do some heavy petting with, you should be all good to go. 

P.S. Always be safe when you’re meeting someone new from the internet. Let at least one good friend know where you’re going and who you’re meeting up with, and, if you can, share your location with them! This will help keep you safe and make you feel more at ease so you can enjoy yourself. 

This is a super short introduction into experimenting with your sexuality and there’s a lot more to learn! It’s an intensely personal journey for most and it can be a slow process. Give yourself patience and grace and take things one step at a time. Happy Pride, y’all.