Have you ever heard of Spanksgiving? It’s a growing trend in the BDSM community where partners who are engaged in a BDSM dynamic really focus on the joys and pleasures of impact play throughout the month of November! But what is BDSM and impact play? How do you get started and what do people enjoy about it? Read on to learn!
What is BDSM?
BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. It goes way beyond just the title though, and is an umbrella term for a wide array of sexual behaviors and relationship dynamics. One of the most popular aspects of BDSM is impact play, which is when one partner allows the other to hit them, either with their hand or something like a whip or flogger.
While bondage and impact play can be intimidating for beginners in some cases, it’s important to note that the mantra for the BDSM community is “safe, sane, and consensual!” A ton of discussion should always be the first step in getting into any BDSM dynamic. First things first, you’ve got to know each partner’s boundaries and establish a safe word. A safe word should be a word that would be strange to say during sex so that it’s clear that it’s time to stop. The point is for the word to be immediately noticeable and easily memorized, so each partner knows to stop instantly and check in on how the other is feeling when the safe word is used.
Why Do People Like BDSM?
BDSM lets you play with the power dynamic in your relationship. It can be a great tool to help relieve the tensions of everyday life. People who lead very stressful lives often find incredible relief in letting go of all decision-making and letting their dom take care of everything, for example. Another reason that people love to participate in BDSM is because of how the brain's pain and reward system works. Once the body stops experiencing pain, like from receiving a spanking, for example, the brain releases endorphins that stimulate pleasure.
Power play can also be a type of roleplay. This gives you the chance to be someone else for a while, which can be super fun and help you decompress from the stress of life. If you’re looking for something that can help you build more trust and better communication in your relationship, BDSM is perfect for that. Sex is already a super vulnerable thing to do, and allowing pain, being tied up, choking, etc. requires even more trust on both sides. You have to communicate how you truly feel, and really listen when your partner is sharing how they feel, for BDSM to be safe and fun for everyone involved.
Products for Beginners
Where do you even start? Don’t be intimidated, everyone is new at some point. A great place to start building up your Spanksgiving tool kit is to add a whip! Whips are a wonderful way to incorporate a little painful fun into your sex life. We love our very own Inferno Whip. Whips can be used by and on both partners and are the next step up from spanking with your hand!
Next up, no BDSM toy box is complete without a blindfold. Starship's Phoenix Blind Fold is a classy blindfold that will be a great addition to your sex life. Blindfolds not only help to build trust, but removing sight allows for your other senses to be heightened, and also adds in the thrill of uncertainty since you don’t know your partner’s next move.
Cal Exotic's Scandal Universal Cuff Set is also a perfect addition since this set comes with two sets of cuffs. Having two sets means that the cuffs can be put on your wrists and ankles at the same time for double the fun!
Want to get everything you need all at once? Try Starship’s Inferno Bondage Kit. This kit is great for beginners because it has all your bondage necessities in one set. This kit includes wrist and ankle cuffs, a hogtie, and a blindfold.
Feeling extra adventurous? Add in Pipedream’s Vibrating Nipple Clamps. Nipple clamps work by stimulating more blood flow to your nipples, making them more sensitive. They might seem a little intimidating, but these clamps have a rubber coating so they’re safe to use, are remote-controlled so your dom can do all the thinking for you, and have 10 vibrations to choose from!