Anal 101: 10 Secrets to GREAT Anal Sex

Whether you’re new to anal sex, a butt play aficionado, or somewhere in between, we can all use tips to help us bring even more pleasure into our lives. These are our BEST tips for great anal sex.

Anal foreplay is everything

If you try to rush anal sex, it could end in discomfort and even injury. Take your time. Whether you are using fingers or butt plugs or dildos to get ready, just move at your own pace.

Communication is key

If you’re trying anal with a partner, make sure you are both communicating openly and honestly with one another through the process. We suggest using the “stop light” system. Essentially, when you check in with your partner, they will give you a color to let you know how they are feeling. Green means you are loving it and want more of what’s going on. Yellow means continue but with caution. Maybe slow down and definitely check in again soon. Red means stop immediately, no questions asked. 

Pick the right lube for the situation

Anal sex requires lubricant of some kind since the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina. There are many lubes that were formulated just for anal sex and we have lots of them available in our stores or online. Avoid lubricants with “numbing” agents, as they can take away your ability to feel if something is wrong.

Remember that sex is not supposed to hurt

Anal sex should never be painful, and if it is, you should stop right away. You might need more lube or more prep to keep things going smoothly. Never be afraid to let your partner know that you are struggling and need assistance.

Skip the douche

According to doctors, anal douching actually destroys your rectal microbiome, so regular use is not recommended. If douching is important to you, use a “water only” formula and do not use anything with laxatives or diuretic.

Experiment with different sensations while doing anal

You can try a heating or a cooling lube, or try metal or glass toys to make the sensations as new as the first time you ever tried anal.

Remember to breathe

When you’re experimenting with something new, nerves can cause you to tense up which makes enjoying anal sex next to impossible. To get out of your own head and let your body relax to the fullest, make sure you are breathing slow, deep and evenly.

Try letting the person receiving anal guide the penetration

You might assume that the one who is receiving must have a passive role during anal, but that does not have to be the case at all! Whether you use your body or your words, you can guide your top and tell them exactly what to do to make you feel good. Playing with power structure during anal can make things even more exciting.

Give sacral massage a try before beginning anal sex

Take 15 to 20 minutes to give the receiving partner a sacral massage (aka the portion of the lower back just above the butt crack). The muscles and nerve endings in the sacrum extend to the whole pelvic girdle, which can help release tension. This can also help you and your partner feel more connected and intimate in the moment.

Make sure you stimulate AROUND the anus

Whether you massage or lick or use a vibrating toy, stimulating the rim of the anus is a wonderful way to give the receiver a lot of pleasure and start relaxing them before penetration.

Bonus tip:

Remember that anal sex is for everyone who is interested in it, regardless of gender or sexuality. Straight or queer, cis or trans or nonbinary, everyone can enjoy butt stuff if they want to! 

With these tips, good communication, and a bit of creativity, you can have some of the best anal sex of your life. Happy Anal August, everyone.