Gender identity is a crucial ingredient in the recipe that makes up our sense of self. As we’ve grown as a society and as individuals, and come to understand how unique every person truly is, the gender binary has been limiting for many. Frequently the categories of male and female do not properly reflect the diversity of the human experience. A growing portion of the population does not identify as strictly male or female. Instead, more people are feeling comfortable enough in themselves and their identities to identify as transgender, non-binary, genderfluid, and other genderqueer identities. Respecting people’s gender identities and asking for pronouns is a good way to begin fostering a welcoming and inclusive world for all. 

How to Ask for Pronouns

When you’re asking someone for their pronouns, it’s best to tread lightly and keep it casual. Always remember that gender identity can be a personal and sensitive topic for a lot of people. Try to avoid making assumptions or using traditionally gendered language when possible. Instead, a great practice is to introduce yourself while including your own pronouns. This can remove the burden of disclosure from the person you’re talking to and make them feel more at ease. Then you can ask the person their preferred pronouns. For example, you could say “Hi! My name is ____ and my pronouns are she/her. It’s so nice to meet you! What are your pronouns?”

How to Practice Using Pronouns

Once you know someone’s pronouns, it’s imperative to use them consistently and correctly, both when talking to that person directly and when referring to them in the third person. Try to work on using the correct pronouns in your everyday vocabulary. You can even practice while you’re alone. For example, you could say out loud to yourself “It was nice to see Sheila today. I loved her dress.”  

What to Do If You Mess Up Someone’s Pronouns

If you make a mistake, it’s not a big deal! Briefly apologize (or even just say excuse me) and correct yourself, and then move on. Try not to linger on the apology for too long or make too big of a production out of it. This extends the awkward situation and often leads to the queer person having to comfort you for your mistake. Remember that no one expects you to be perfect. The effort of trying consistently to get their pronouns right will mean a lot to them, and you’ll get better at it as time goes on.

Toys That Are Great for All Bodies

Genderqueer bodies are still just that: bodies. We all experience pleasure in subtly different, but wholly the same ways. Communication is always key when exploring, and it’s important to remember the prime directive: have fun. Anal play is something that not everybody may be into but is available to a huge majority of the population. Anal beads and butt plugs can be an exciting addition to any scenario. Another great addition to any genderfluid relationship is the GenderX line, carried by Starship. GenderX offers a wide variety of gender-inclusive products that will leave you feeling euphoric in every sense of the word.