The History of the Hanky Code: A Fun Look Back at a Queer Tradition

Have you ever been to a club, pride festival, or bar displaying vintage 70s photos and seen someone with a colorful bandana peeking out of their back pocket? That piece of cloth looks like a simple fashion statement, but it actually carries a fascinating history in queer culture.

It’s called the hanky code (or “flagging”), and it’s one of the most creative communication tools invented by the queer community. 

Let’s explore the hanky code meaning, its roots in queer history intimacy, and how modern pleasure exploration still echoes this playful, subtle language. 

TL;DR

• The hanky code (or “flagging”) is a colorful bandana system queer communities used to communicate desires silently.
• Left pocket means top, right pocket means bottom, and different hanky colors signaled different interests: from black (S&M) to light blue (oral sex) to grey (bondage).
• That same spirit of creative, consent-driven connection lives on today. Whether you’re exploring with a beginner-friendly kit like the Provocative Fetish Kit by Starship or the Erotic Play Kit by Nasstoys.
• Rope, restraint, and sensation tools like the Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Silky Purple Rope, Scandal BDSM Red Rope, Starship Prism Handcuffs and Flogger, and temperature play lubes from Sensuva and Swiss Navy all carry echoes of the hanky code’s emphasis on trust, communication, and exploration.
• You don’t need a bandana to honor this tradition. Wear a color, ask a question, or simply show up to the function curious. The heart of flagging is about finding connection with creativity and respect. 

What is the Hanky Code? 

The hanky code is a colored bandana worn in a back pocket that signals specific sexual interests, roles, or preferences. 

• Left Pocket = Top or “Active” Role
• Right Pocket = Bottom or “Receptive” Role

Different bandana colors also mean different things. While modern hanky color charts may show a variety of activities, some of the original colors were: 

• Black = S&M
• Dark Blue = Anal Sex
• Light Blue = Oral Sex
• Grey = Bondage
• Orange = Anything Goes
• Red = Fisting 

This wasn’t just about finding a sexual partner or pride kink culture. This was about queer history intimacy and a way to find connection when being openly gay was incredibly dangerous. The code allowed people to express desires while in public spaces, such as bars, without having to say a word. It all started in the 1960s during a time where suspected sodomy (specifically aimed to target queer sex) could put you in jail.  

From Practical Need to Cultural Icon

The hanky code emerged in the early 1970s in large cities such as San Francisco and New York City. The true origin changes depending on who you ask, but the basis remains the same. Gay men were known to clip their keys to the right or left hip depending on if they were submissive or dominant. From there, it slowly evolved into color handkerchiefs being used to not only determine top and bottom, but also what sexual activities you’re looking for. 

By the late 1970s, gay flagging had become an elaborate, colorful lexicon. Hankies were now being sold at erotic stores with printed charts explaining their meanings. Learning this code became a sort of rite of passage for the queer community and helped establish trust.

As times have changed the hanky code isn’t as popular but it’s also not fully disappeared. Today it’s used as a low-pressure way to flirt or signal openness to pleasure exploration. Gay bars, pride events, or other queer gatherings have been known to do hanky night where people can meet up and connect without having to openly say what they’re into.

It’s also the inspiration for the colors chosen by most BDSM toys or gear. Black and red hankies were common colors seen and signaled that the wearer was into more intense sexual encounters. Now, when you think of BDSM toys, you’re most likely to envision black or red leather cuffs, floggers, etc.

Having a space where everyone can feel comfortable and communicate effectively is what built this queer tradition. 

How the Hanky Code Inspires Modern Play

You don’t need a bandana to enjoy the spirit of the hanky code. What matters is intention, consent, and curiosity. Today’s pleasure seekers use things that let them explore sensations, power dynamics, or temperature play, all concepts that helped build the hanky code. 

For Beginners Exploring Kink

Provocative Fetish Kit by Starship: Perfect for anyone curious about starting their pleasure exploration journey. This all-in-one kit gives you a taste of different sensations without overwhelming you. It includes the BDSM basics such as Starship Inferno handcuffs, Starship Phoenix bondage rope, Starship Inferno blindfold, S&M XOXO Paddle, Kinky Nights Dice Game, and some sample packs of clit stimulators and lube.

Starship Curated Provocative Fetish Kit

Erotic Play Kit by Nasstoys

Erotic Play Kit by Nasstoys: This kit is great for any solo person or couple who wants to experiment with texture and vibration. The vibrator has three separate attachments including a cock ring, g-spot stimulator, and clit stimulator. The rich green color is reminiscent of the green hanky, often meant to represent a hustler/dominate roleplay. 

Rope for Connection and Trust

Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Silky Rope: Silk, soft, and in a beautiful purple this rope is perfect for beginners just learning or pros who know what ties they like best. In the original hanky code, purple symbolized someone who likes piercings or needle play, something that often goes hand-in-hand with BDSM. 

FF Deluxe Silky Purple Rope

Scandal BDSM Rope: Red was historically associated with more intense play, but for modern users, red rope can symbolize being adventurous. Use it for wrist ties, harnesses, or full body ties. 

Scandal BDSM Red Rope

Impact Play and Restraint

Starship Prism Handcuffs and Flogger: Both the handcuffs and the flogger are friendly versions of the typically intense BDSM essentials. Swap out the black and red for soft rainbow leather.  Enjoy sensory exploration with a playful, yet firm, thuddy feel from the flogger while your hands are cuffed behind your back. 

Starship Prism Handcuffs

Starship Prism Flogger

Temperature and Sensation Play

Sensuva Ultra Stimulating Ice Lube: A big part of the hanky code was being able to silently say what you’re into. Not every color meant a sexual act, some were meant to showcase sensations you enjoy. If you’re looking to experiment with a new feeling, sensuva ultra stimulating ice lube will wake up the skin and give you a whole new feel. 

Sensuva Ultra Stimulating Ice Lube

Swiss Navy Warming Lube: Take that same concept and now swap it for heat. Warming lubes are a great way to play with heat in a safer way than using candle wax or other methods. Use it for a sensual massage or to elevate nipple play.

Swiss Navy Warming Lube

Bringing the Hanky Code into Today

You don’t need to carry around a pocket color guide to honor this tradition. You can just: 

• Wear a bandana as a conversation starter at a queer-freindly event.
• Ask a partner “What color hanky would you be today?” as a playful way to flirt.
• Use code-inspired emojis (